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| Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
Disappointment is no fun. Getting your hopes up,
dreaming and then facing reality can be extremely daunting and uncomfortable.
And we all know, this life can be pretty disappointing at times. I feel like
this past month I have been living in that disappointment, not understanding what
God is doing, and yet... walk with me.
It all began with John's job hunt. He's been
looking to get into the school system as an aide, with little success so far.
Then he got a call, an interview. It went well. It was close to home, with good
hours and pay and benefits. It was so enticing and we were both so hopeful. It
seemed like maybe, this was what God had for us. A second interview, our hopes
soared. We dreamed of what we could do if he got the job in short term and long
term. And then...no. He didn't get it.
I was so disappointed. I was frustrated and
confused and wondering if we did something wrong, wondering what God is doing.
In essence I found myself back in the Garden of Eden question God's goodness. I
could hear the lies being whispered in my ear from the serpent, "God
doesn't really love you. If he did, he wouldn't withhold this job from
you." Is God only good when
he gives me what I want? That seems like a toddler version of God and I know
it's not true. I had to remind myself of God's goodness. I had to remind myself
that trust is hardest when you can't see the way. But I know that He is
trustworthy, and I do trust his goodness. I had to remind myself also of how
blessed we are. We really had nothing to be upset about.
Does that mean I wasn't still disappointed? No. I
was, but my perspective shifted and I was trusting the best that I could. Come
back tomorrow to read about the second situation I found myself in.
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